I cited you!

But we knew that.

Bands:
Sad in Good Weather
Our Names Mean Nil
The Slo Mo Hallways

Does it make it any less?

Turns out "Heavy Meddle" is the title of an episode of Scrubs.

Heavy Meddle

Field of Shimmies

We're gonna walk around the track tonight.

Also, I'd like to report unsafe conditions at her worksite.

Ocher, aqua

Skip to the nudes...

Slumber party on a Japanese handscroll.

Is this one of those rooms where whispers travel great distances?

And old Ghost in the Machine t-shirt-
(cheap at $220)

Literary Edition

So now I'd rather watch a character reading The Stories of John Cheever than read The Stories of John Cheever.


No, we did Villette instead.

And

She glowed like a review.

The Science Projects

Are you doing anything for the Semi-Annual Bra Event?

He kept throwing pretzel pieces into the street.

And I'm wondering where that building came from.

Also where it's going.

Whose idea was these?

The big belief question goes both ways.

With that attitude, no wonder.

Those pink frames and dark nostrils...

She couldn't hold her mittens.

(I'd like to renew his gym membership.)

J-Peggish

A competitive eating disorder.

He's a whole new cute.

(I'm always comparing things to that Borges story I never read.)

They moved on

Who'm I talking to?

One of those physics geniuses with a blown mind.

A mug with the Oshkosh skyline.

Declaration of Dependence

I like to smell like coffee.

A working theory

Oh yeah, that place.

Rain-slicked and angry.

We'll adapt and undercome.

I'm calling in some party favors--
Mostly those whistles that are like sirens.

Rain boots of color

Carnival resemblance

On Ocean City:
Well, which is it?

Band: The False Senses of Security

(Our references needed some sprucing up.)

Night Lights

We vowed to de-dirty those words.

Don't tell the ashes, but I think we scattered them in the wrong gorge.

(We pretty-girled our way out of things.)

That place rules

Sadie Hawkins Redux

Napkinwise, I'm fantastic

Pamphlet: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Pamphlets


(Turns out it wasn't even a star.)

What a waste of a big screen

I'd like to glaze her carrot cake.

He's okay, but he's always saying things like, "Or as I like to call it, Sexington Avenue!"

(She was a great car, and I betrayed her...)

Band: Wrong Hole

That catch deserves a nickname

I'd like to globally position her system.

(Bet you get that a lot.)

Advanced Bird Sounds

Band: The Weeps

A lot of songs star pretty girls walking by.

In times like that we'd turn to Emily...

Will I ever find my Serbian?


(This one's for my dear blonde overlord...)

Classic boxing match

Breaking though those stodgy moods.

Orange juice in small, thick cans.

(I'll take what's in that sweater vest.)

An argument as old as America

Cup of coffee on the car roof.

I can't imagine someone reading that whole thing.

There's nothing in the wind.

And I'm a big fan of his lesser works.

I think I hear cards being shuffled.


(That basketball game in the sky...)

He talks like people talk

You are such a beautiful nerd.

I hope you didn't hold onto that stuff.

Self-hurt book: Bashing the Gay Within


Hey--if it isn't my old fourth-grade teacher!
(It isn't)


(A good story, even if no one tells it.)

The universe demands it

I'd like to replenish their band-aid stash.

We'll pass my old dojo.

High on yin.

(I still mouth that couplet.)

Which fair was that?

Take the address labels and run.

Someone should paint her coming into work like that.

The consolations of commerce...

(They show old Italian movies in the corner.)

I adore that day

The rise of "inconvenience."

Winter hats with words knitted into them.

We thought he was a radio.

Did I tell you you're my new God?

Not Current

Fortified by my vivid ignorance of history.

Bottle Beautiful

Get my fry on-

(I'll miss that construction.)

Bands:
The Hers
Convenient Fiction

In the Snow

Her unexpectedly besocked foot

Left me, unexpectedly, besocked

Is this getting old?

And slow?

A trip to Texas or Paris might fix it.

I'm not serious.

That's the problem.

Or the answer.

A mind for malls

What was that firework-looking thing?

I didn't come this far to miss out on my free holiday gift.

Every fact is after the fact.

None of us know nothing

(I'd like to Hans his Zimmer.)

(I can't believe we're the same age.)

Certificate of Inauthenticity

Forgotten psychedelic 60's band:
Timothy Nimrod and the Plastic Orgasms

(I'd like to be held momentarily by his dispatcher.)

Seems good to me

Band: The Epitaffs

Triumphant beer holds

I like flip books,
but I wish they were longer.

Fake slaps

Crime Novelist Convention

That ear, peaking through that curtain of hair.

Ideas as furniture

Has it been that long?

(I'd like to plot against her America.)

A permanent record

(At least until somebody unplugs the internet.)

We sat at this table last time

Your jacket flounces nicely.

Now and Later wrappers were the best for that.

You and your frivolous now.

Those jeans might be counterfeit, but the ass is genuine certified.

I'd like to polish your bannister.

(These napkins look like sailboats.)

How Awesome Would That Be

Dance fantasies while mowing the lawn.

The movie where they end up on the beach.

She's so bundletastic!


A great writer, but none of his books are any good.

The Concerns

I'd like to flood his market.

Iron Man Hugathon

The drama of the South Ferry subway platform.

How about passionless peach?

Johnny Grotto

Please allow him to introduce himself.

A ballpark historian.

A relentless self-demoter.

Panel 1

Makes me want to cozy up in a cabin.

Or at least a cabin-themed tavern.

Jungle pouch

Book: 1001 Hair Compliments

"I'm not complaining," I complained.

I'd like to funnel his profits.

Still not enough.

The last of the big mowers.

Gutted superclubs

Where did all those chanting monks go?

This temperature makes me miss America,
Driving through space and all that.

Band: The Struggles

Pointing in directions

"I guess this is what I wanted."
(First line for award acceptance speech.)

Cause We're Idiots

Our Lady of the Alluring Headband

That's shallow end stuff.

What goes on back there?

Back when meaning meant something

That was beers ago. 

I don't know tenses. 

She never comes over. 

Bill:

Upskirt Junction

Ponytail Express

Good Seats 

No Chance 

How seriously are we supposed to take this?

Seriously, how seriously?

Knowledge is Powerlessness

The deathless appeal of the monastery--

Probably better as an idea. 

The old-time script doctor--

Door to door, fixing stories. 

Keyneck, New Jersey

Late-summer poolishness. 

Beyond my school walls. 

Like the Moscow subway

A dollar's worth of happiness. 

Pity she's not a whore.

(I'd like to eat in her sukkah.)

(Now I'm wishing I'd lugged that spinach kugel back...)

Finish this sentence

Miracle skirt.

Sweeping the walk

In front of the shop.

Stop reading labels. 

With a line like that...

Girl with tripod

Woman with short hair, kid and cordless drill. 

They're literally laying pipe in the middle of Lorimer St. 

He's arguably our generation's greatest arguer. 

"Do-gooder" as a pejorative. 

(I wear a beard, baseball cap and sunglasses to disguise myself as a celebrity in disguise.)

You are so beautiful and sweaty

(I'll leave that to our nation's screenwriters.)

I think he knows

Small market stuff

Band: Those Guys Are The Real Heroes

The old office supply stores of Midtown.

The cemetery by the highway. 

The creepy "Donate your car" ads.

Sensationalist program: When Analogies Collapse

The Threw Aways

Specialist in disaster branding.

How the price of copies has held pretty steady.

Look at him--the headphones, the blond tousle, the backpack, the designer plaid (mostly the tousle)...

(I'd like to Harmon his Killebrew.)

A revival of Broken Hope?

You keep up with Loland, yes?

...a song about them half-sleeves, and how they're so well worn. 

Sandwich capabilities

DJ Head Hurtz

I'd like to Jenna her von Oÿ.

Wasn't my idea.

Plus, she was reading The Last Tycoon.

Band: Beautiful Sos

The way of all cash-

I'm back on Pop Rocks

Chicks like that have an obligation to cause accidents.

Motto: From many, what?

How you can smell even the length of mown grass...


Signed,
Mary from Baraboo

Sanka's back?

We're all out of context.

What is they whispering about?

(I'd like to chair her committee.)

The Misinterpreted Grin

You never used to see that...

Trouser Hounds of the 21st Century.

Pineapple cubes aswimmin'

(Why do I crave Rolos?)

Sun Low

Shagging late-season flies.

Your fabled softball fields.

My argument against argument books.

Band: The New Oafs

(He must have some wang...)

Turn that anger upside down!

An all-dog revue...

Big scallion

Right song at the wrong time.

(We didn't know the lead singer had died.)


Well, we all look bad when we show up in letters to advice columnists.

(I'd like to refrigerate her Snickers.)

Famous signage

100 reasons, via Radar.

Beaten to life

Looks like somebody has a case of the funs!

(I'd like to pave his way.)

Who's minding the mind?

(If that's the sort of thing you're into.)

(I'm into sort-of things.)

DJ Travel Planz

We don't talk about luck.
It's bad luck.

Museum courtyards, tour buses, etc.

The revelation is: There ain't no revelation.

But then he remembered who he was

Band: The New Laments
Single: I Miss Being Lonely

Who's dignifying who

Airport candy machine.

I like my grill marks painted on.

I wouldn't dignify those pebbled, machine-littered expanses by calling them "roofs."

There is that...


(I'd like to pump some liquidity into their local economy.)

Deceptive angle

New store: Terrible Price

I'd like to become a guy who swims laps.

Quit Lloyding your Dobbler over me.


(Was that chick real, or a hologram from the dark side of my balls?)

Bringing back "cinchy"

Bra strap insouciance.

His pet name was Sugar Packet.

And he sure knew how to wear a headband.

(Now it belongs to the world.)


(Brining my time...)

Russian Business Tattoos

Rapper: Hush Money

This place runs on Jarritos.


(But then what would we recycle?)

Next person paying with cash

(I'd like to Waldorf her Astoria.)

Whatever your theology-

Better you than some stranger.

Better some stranger than you.


Excuse me, there's a butterfly on your back.

Kikkoman tote bag w/ dog.

Hold her feet while she does sit-ups...

Nothing is overpriced

Pixie in Volvo.

The Old License Plates

Place where people say things like, "I don't paint apartments. I paint the universe: armpits, football fields, dogs...."

Brand Skankin' New

Every word is a decision.

Award for best wearing of a Notre Dame sweatshirt goes to...

(We blew our stories over the tops of bottles.)

Girls on dirt bikes

Where are the mosquitos?

Band: Old Men Under Broken Umbrellas
Hit single: Plastic Grocery Bag

A year we would never forget...
(Wait--which year?)

What mall?

You know the old saying, "You know the old saying?"?

Today, he said, we live forever.

I prefer my drinks tightly carbonated or not at all.


They brought in a three-legged dog to be an inspirational barker.
It worked.

Godfather of Soullessness

An elder statesfrog...

Where did we end up eating that night?

Band: The Wink Martindales

Children's book: Craig's First Cheese Plate


A cat with curly hair?

Graffito

Winner of some award you never heard of

Band: The Realists

Written in condensation.

The strong police presence at the Union Square Barnes and Noble...

(I'd like to Penguin her Classics.)

Taken to task for my overuse of "taken to task."


Meet me at fire fly park...

You two know each other?

Succulent pearbody...

I'm hoping she slips up.

Taken to task for my overuse of the word "succulent."

The power of then.

The newsstand in the subway at 14th and 7th...

You work out?

Studies show--

Watermelon motif.

Too hot for metaphors...

Guys like that give hipsters a bad name.


(Out by where the old Sears used to be.)

The Reminders

Better with a beard.

Soul food at the start of the world.

The poetry of parking regulations...

Band: Old Computers

I'd like to grow tomatoes.

Hired kooks...

Post industrial fans

Maybe that's part of it?

Reminiscent of a passport stamp.

I'd like to counter her culture...

(But do it without using the phrase "graveyard shift at Denny's.")

Neither are you

As bleepy as it gets.

Motto: Don't Stomp On Me!

Clacking dominoes around the table...

(I'd like to Dodi her Fayed.)

(You pick up on that stuff early.)

But what would they sell?

Business: Snatchy McVadge's Ginchatorium

Navy Rock

Tote-baggery

What's she doing in the street?

(I'd like to Amos her Oz.)

Runs vs. Points

Melt in twos

See through shirts

(We would sit and meditate on desire.) 

The ring tones of our ancestors

Did I agree to that?

Being and somethingness.

Pringles on the beach...

The Concerned Looks

I have deep respect for that kid in the sweatshirt eating Munchos.

Come out with your buns glazing!

Sucked through straws

Irritable vowel syndrome.

The wrong, silent type.

Where did you get those stupid T-shirts?

I like the way they're weighted.

I'll buzz you in

Dream liver

School chairs

Kayak carrier, but no kayak.

To the girl in the NYPL reading Diasporic Meditations-


(That can't be her real name...)

The Neithers

Plummy Depths

Terrycloth Fantasia

The Stained Glass Cats

Skies alive!

(I'm more excited about America's next bottom model.)

Computer Alert

I'd like to labor under her delusions.

How green was my lantern?
Seriously--how green?

An old-fashioned right-of-way argument.


Your type-

In concert

The You Could Do Thats

Who can run in this haze?

Fence rental.

Helicopter sound effects.

The religion with the footrests...

(It was a simple morning, but I treasure it.)

Regional champions

Breeze boys

Prescision for nothing

Math rock grrl band:
The Tragic Figures


(Good name for a cat)

That same amazingness

They'll squirt it with whatever flavor you want.

Turn the game on.

Land of the free refill.

The nipple effect.

I've managed to skirt that as well.

People don't act like they do in paintings.

(They must have figured I was insane.)

Cop belt for sale

Band: The Good Things Going

I'd like to Mos Eisley her Spaceport.

(Tennis balls against a wall.)

Aced it

High-waisted

High, wasted...

Hy weighs Ted.

Hi, wasted!

Highways, Ted,
highways.


(Looking good this year.)

(The optimistic, rubbery smell of the bike shop.)

The Ain't Nots

It was a great catch phrase.

It is with some measure of regret that I

New thing: eating with chopsticks taken from a hairdo.

(I don't know how to answer that.)

What I'm not sure

We can learn a lot from this fat, one-footed pigeon.

Looking through the statue's legs.

Is that neon, rubber sunglass style back?

I can't believe 10 years ago was 10 years ago.

Tailing the day away-

(I never did get that joke.)

Kicking sand

This is worth reading twice.

What proximity promotes

That is one surreal-tastic blimp.

Baby rap: In Da Sling

(I'd like to unite her nations.)

Marinate like the pros

Soft-nosed negotiations-

They pop up in every hot tub.

I haven't been fishing in years.


(That's just an old urban mist.)