Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Steve Martin's Art Collection

I'd like to sculpt all the dumb things I've said into a mountain, and shove it somewhere out of the way.

People should eat most food like wine enthusiasts drink wine.

Remember me to Cedar Hill. And to that other hill that doesn't have a name.

What sort of God can't handle some ribbing?

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Men explaining phenomena

How about I'll be the blurry figure in the back of the picture.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Ramble on

I can't be in every park at once.
Or can I?

I've seen turtles here before.

These are some stand-up squirrels.

Maybe it's that rare wookpecker that people are arguing about.

After seeing the late-afternoon sun dance on the lake, I understand why you like those sparkly shoes.

(My friend says he has no Great Egrets, and refers to his bathroom as a Turd Sanctuary.)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

I love/hate to tell you--

You are already committed.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

That's what I'm talking about

This craving for a round of strip poker is overwhelming.

A lot of women are pulling suitcases these days.

Dancing on the tracks.
Asses being "aimed."

I can't get enough of leaning back in chairs.

Remember that time I

Filiopiety: excessive reverence for ancestors and traditions.

Is there one for excessive reverence for, and attachment to, one's personal experience?

Crumpled bills

Beggars' cups as a compassion tax.

Monday, August 22, 2005

To religion

Those who can't believe in God, but can believe in jinxes and luck.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Too gimmicky

I still like doing laundry--the way it connects you to your things, the dailyness of life, and the chore-god. But I wish the laundromat near me had more attractions: video games, a lounge area, magazines, a bumping singles scene.

The end of an individual's memory is a tragedy and a transcendence.

One thing about bad movies--they make regular life seem great and entertaining. Like, I can't wait.

It is unlikely that you will see me hefting a massive golf trophy.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Once removed

Amazing time at an unexpected (but dreamt of) diner.

What I like about root beer is that rubberiness.

Renting a MINI Cooper for a weekend is my top sexual fantasy.

Let's hear it for the virility and potential of the valet guys-

Thursday, August 11, 2005


Watchdogging the skinny pride movement.

(I'm not so good at stare downs.)

Those bon bons are rich.

If that bra could talk...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Are you joking

Drinking carrot juice to imbibe a retro vitality

I'm excited about having a radio in the kitchen.

A fear of people with clipboards

What about when there is a there there?

Places where people were but aren't

I'm not sure I have the energy for Target.
How about Walgreen's?

Monday, August 08, 2005

Moon bathing

Is that a star or what?

Spill it, Victoria.

I felt like we really bonded.

"Extreme" blow jobs

(But that's as far as it goes)

At some point, self-knowledge yields diminishing returns.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Sounds like my kind of sandwich

But I like being on the grid.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Something about lost notebooks

Something about megachurches...
Something about mergers...
Something about wrestling camp...

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


"...the unimaginable is there to be imagined."
-from a J.M. Coetzee story in a recent New Yorker

Monday, August 01, 2005

Follow that career!

I'm surprised no dairy has used "Gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder" as a tagline.

Wonder if I'll be reincarnated as a Japanese Salaryman.
Look for me in the corners of pachinko parlors.

Is there a federal law that regulates hotel pool closing times?

Life is short.
Life is long.
(I've heard both.)