I have another headache

She smells like bagels.
Popping out of winter clothes--
I think I miss my camera phone!

acting on a tip from a neighbor
(a portrait of wolf-whistler's mother)

I have a headache

Mind if I take your dog for a walk?

Philter: A love potion (real vocab)

(What you're missing by reading)

(What they're missing by not reading)

As good as everyone says it is

There's magic in that old TV repair shop.

Fall night/light

What they usually mean is Seize the Dame,
which isn't always the best course of action.

Excremental

When people announce specifically that they have to take a "massive" dump.

What did you come up with?

Happy hour restrictions

Funny covers of old albums

Old women in nightgowns in doorways, keeping watch

Girls in skirts on bikes

Old Italian restaurants with tiled entryways and lighted Rest Room signs
(That we'll probably never eat at)

But in a good way

I'd like to overdraw her account.
I'd like to anthologize her knowledge.
I'd like to transfer to her G train.

Criticize me, will you?

I like being sweetly choked by cigar smoke.

I hope her stage name is Stephanie Noodles.

The existing are naturally prejudiced towards existence.

Grab Bag

plea: I just want to be naked with you.

band: The Legitimates

game show: That's Not Poetry!

fact: The Eckerd drugstore on Manhattan used to be a roller rink.

consolation: You can sleep on the plane.

question from the air: Are those cities?

Keep thinking

That a "Jerusalem artichoke" is one of those obscene and mythical sex moves.

Titles

Windy Picnic

The Cutening

Live on in a flip book

My new favorite place-

Accent elimination

I can't explain, but I will.

The anythingest anything.

Those clouds just can't be real. And they aren't.

Too "thinky"

I like psychology experiments that involve elevator buttons and/or where men choose to place themselves at urinal banks.

This might be wrong

Even the end of the world isn't the end of the world.

Could you watch my fruit stand?

On stage, they're something else.

A lot of people are walking around holding video cameras.

Production company: Question Entertainment

There's no such thing as must-see.

All these sets will be struck.

Requiem for payphones

Wars worrying about how popular they are.

It's been awhile since I've heard Paul discourse on the cultural moment of the Health Salad (cottage cheese, jello, and fruit salad on iceberg lettuce).

Artists market

Interpreting paintings can feel like physical labor.

Is Van Gogh obsolete?

Maybe we're looking at art all wrong.

An orchard vs. a depiction of an orchard.

A cultural history of cultural histories

Wish I knew Latin

God bless direct deposit

Everyone's a hypnotist

I do miss her (if that's the word)

She described the connection we had as a junk bond.

Name that tune

Misheard lyric that, when you found out what the words actually were, was the most crushing.
("I would not give you false hope, only strange and mournful days.")

Memoir of a model: Too Beautiful For Love

Band name: The Morning Afterpills

Easy for you to say

Meet me at my office-

The Learning Annex box at the corner of 2nd and 5th.

Don't worry about what you're going to do with your life.
Consider what your life is doing with you.

How about Disorganized Religion?

Lid

How the stains on a paper coffee cup tell, in cryptic terms, the story of the morning.

To be

Lost to the ages--
Not so bad

I'm a dash man

I'm a dash, man.
I mad ash, man.
I mad! ash=man
-Ima Dashman

Short poems

I could sit
Eating this taco forever
With the breeze and scene


I'm no foot fetishist
But I sure would
Suck that toe ring off


The Israeli girl
Sanctifying her tank top
Serves falafel

A poster of this?

Intellectual girls worrying about their butts.

Fest

If you don't get at least a little nauseous, you didn't do it right.

Open letter to the Gap

You're not selling boxer-briefs with interesting patterns anymore. Don't think I haven't noticed.

Guess

I'm thinking of a number between one and two.

I'm thinking of a concept between beautiful and irresistible.

I'm thinking of a fruit between raspberries and figs.

He of the lascivious hugs

Are we right to demand grins and good moods from salespeople and librarians?

Jamba Juice has become shorthand for something.

I rarely have the energy to order customized sandwiches.


Rocket tits
(Going to be a long, long time)

Thumb nail

That one about the hotel bar.

More mandolin

I like doing push-ups in hotel rooms.

I like soft guitars building to something.

(For a song not to work in a movie...)

Wisconsin

Driving to Madison, stopping in Whitewater.

I have my towns, you have yours, plus we can share.

Have to admit

A cross up high against a grey sky looks pretty great.

Everybody's an expert now

Folks grabbing their crotches and saying, "Google this."

Could power a what

The cumulative grace and beauty of all waitresses

I'm not going to argue

What you see when you look at yourself in an antique mirror.

I'm not going to argue

What you see when you look at yourself in an antique mirror.

Through the scratchitti

Let's just go with the idea of heaven as a lounge in the clouds.

Steve Martin's Art Collection

I'd like to sculpt all the dumb things I've said into a mountain, and shove it somewhere out of the way.

People should eat most food like wine enthusiasts drink wine.

Remember me to Cedar Hill. And to that other hill that doesn't have a name.

What sort of God can't handle some ribbing?

Men explaining phenomena

How about I'll be the blurry figure in the back of the picture.

Ramble on

I can't be in every park at once.
Or can I?

I've seen turtles here before.

These are some stand-up squirrels.

Maybe it's that rare wookpecker that people are arguing about.

After seeing the late-afternoon sun dance on the lake, I understand why you like those sparkly shoes.

(My friend says he has no Great Egrets, and refers to his bathroom as a Turd Sanctuary.)

I love/hate to tell you--

You are already committed.

That's what I'm talking about

This craving for a round of strip poker is overwhelming.

A lot of women are pulling suitcases these days.

Dancing on the tracks.
Asses being "aimed."

I can't get enough of leaning back in chairs.

Remember that time I

Filiopiety: excessive reverence for ancestors and traditions.

Is there one for excessive reverence for, and attachment to, one's personal experience?

Crumpled bills

Beggars' cups as a compassion tax.

To religion

Those who can't believe in God, but can believe in jinxes and luck.

Too gimmicky

I still like doing laundry--the way it connects you to your things, the dailyness of life, and the chore-god. But I wish the laundromat near me had more attractions: video games, a lounge area, magazines, a bumping singles scene.

The end of an individual's memory is a tragedy and a transcendence.

One thing about bad movies--they make regular life seem great and entertaining. Like, I can't wait.

It is unlikely that you will see me hefting a massive golf trophy.

Once removed

Amazing time at an unexpected (but dreamt of) diner.

What I like about root beer is that rubberiness.

Renting a MINI Cooper for a weekend is my top sexual fantasy.

Let's hear it for the virility and potential of the valet guys-

Re-criminalization

Watchdogging the skinny pride movement.

(I'm not so good at stare downs.)

Those bon bons are rich.

If that bra could talk...

Are you joking

Drinking carrot juice to imbibe a retro vitality

I'm excited about having a radio in the kitchen.

A fear of people with clipboards

What about when there is a there there?

Places where people were but aren't

I'm not sure I have the energy for Target.
How about Walgreen's?

Moon bathing

Is that a star or what?

Spill it, Victoria.

I felt like we really bonded.

"Extreme" blow jobs

(But that's as far as it goes)



At some point, self-knowledge yields diminishing returns.

Sounds like my kind of sandwich

But I like being on the grid.

Something about lost notebooks

Something about megachurches...
Something about mergers...
Something about wrestling camp...

Mindful

"...the unimaginable is there to be imagined."
-from a J.M. Coetzee story in a recent New Yorker

Follow that career!

I'm surprised no dairy has used "Gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder" as a tagline.

Wonder if I'll be reincarnated as a Japanese Salaryman.
Look for me in the corners of pachinko parlors.

Is there a federal law that regulates hotel pool closing times?


Life is short.
Life is long.
(I've heard both.)

Isn't that weird

Spent the time off playing catch up.

We can make fun of them afterwards.

We've all had things we didn't realize we had.

All that training for nothing.

As advertised

Receiving your fill of nature from a screen-saver.

The romantic desperation of calling information from a payphone, even if you're just getting the number of the closest Taco Bell.

What's another 20 bucks?

I can't remember if Duane Reade has a toy section.

Costive:
1) Suffering from constipation
2) (archaic) Slow in action or expressing ideas
As in: This all-you-can-eat buffet has made me costive.


I like when journalists cite google search results in their articles.

Confessions

I've only seen chunks of it, on cable.

I've always liked to live near swings.

I'll never get tired of complaining about how kids have to wear helmets when riding their Big Wheels and small bikes.

I need to get over my reluctance to order elaborate pasta dishes in diners.

Who cares how much a movie cost to make?

After school

The sonic discrepancy between the opening of a can of beer and a can of soda.
Use it.

I'm into flimsy.

Mirrored towers--better from the outside.

To be able to say, "We did what we could..."

Needs more Tilt-A-Whirl imagery!

Please don't use that word.

Dogging days

Every season has advantages and disadvantages.
Buildings now seem real clean-cut.

It's a cliche, but: guys standing outside the OTB parlor.

Is it okay to have recurring bouts of a crush on Chelsea Clinton?

Someday I'd like to solve something using phone records.

Not fair

Oh, like a gym membership would solve everything.

Less profound than it sounds

I like articles that suggest a nuclear attack wouldn't be so bad as you think.

We went across the country, pressing pennies.

It's not the rooms we miss in those old hotels--it's the look and promise of their signs.

You're likely to be remembered for things you've forgotten.

More gung, less ho

Of course we worry about the wrong things. That's why it's worry. Being afraid of the right things is terror.

Statistically possible

Where in Brooklyn, exactly, was 'Welcome Back, Kotter' set?
I'm chasing those ghosts.

Crystal

I saw a woman who looks like Paola will in 25 years.

Inside the box

Maybe death is, in its own unimaginable way, as odd, complex, and amazing as life.
And equally difficult to describe.

Industrial Magic and Loss

I don't have cable, but this isn't something I'm proud of.

The sudden way our electronics break.
Digital media's graceless degrade.

When store security alarms sound off for the wrong reason (libary book), we're supposed to voluntarily go back and defensively brandish receipts.
Not anymore.

Radio Shack can still be counted on to have that obscure, specific device that no one else has.

Play to your strengths

You could break his heart. That might be fun.

There is so much we haven't done and kind of want to do.

Does love fade?
Not the high-sex kind. We know that does. The other kind.

In relationships there is a division of labor that gets things done.
There is also some multiplication, but mostly division.

Does trading yawns across the subway count as cheating?

Aw, heck

I really miss Starfruit flavored Gatorade.

Love the fortune, hate the cookie

Is thinking that every member of a nationality is anti-Semitic something like anti-Semitism itself?
Or is it just being reasonable?

Let's sit back and watch actors mature.

You don't need to bring anything.

You should

Be more selfish. I wish that word meant what it sounds like--that your relationship to yourself is approximate and fuzzed.

Waxed

If it would be entertaining and useful, I'd happily be nakedly honest.

Seize the day

"Seize the day" is vague and useless. The obvious interpretation--grabbing what one wants, no matter what--will lead to sexual harassment or financial ruin. The phrase is used to coerce. Watch out for it. Days are unseizable anyway. Let the day be. How about just walk with it. Hold its hand.

Vacation funds

Resort layout learning curve.
What I need is a time machine to go back and apply sunscreen when it could've really helped. Like Florida, 1985.
I love those groups of casual dudes, with nice bodies, just starting out in finance.
These pushups are the hum of the vanity engine.
On deckchairs, reading literary fiction.
So bright it's dark, so hot it's cold.
I'm literally 135 soaking wet.
Reunion truism: Everybody looks just like everybody.
I'm holding out until the 'let them cry' school of parenting comes back into vogue.
According to the tv on the back of the plane seat, 200 human babies are born every minute. Which means 288,000 a day. Which means nothing.

So you'll get a new favorite hat...

We ate well...

He made gazpacho for their first date.

They're losing their minds, but they've earned it.

Our malls and nuclear weapons are showing their age.

A tragedy of manners?

Summer festivals, sponsored by big beer.

Why wouldn't I want to lick her armpit?

Do folks still carry mug money?

I'm proud to give my zip code to merchants.

Are George Bush and Tom Cruise on parallel paths, becoming more unreachable by the moment? Can folks across the globe tell the difference between them?

Things I should be well over by now...

Men accomplishing things on hot days

Ideally if you see me I'll be wearing my new peach and rose striped Le Tigre shirt I rescued from the clearance rack at Lord and Taylor.

Lost: line that would have been perfect here. Last thought on Metropolitain Ave, near Havemeyer, in Brooklyn. Something important: about you, about us. Reward.

Overheard 2

I had Runts for breakfast.

That was the gluten talking!

Dewey decimal this

Collections of essays about celebrity eating disorders.
Books about how Helen Keller was really a bitch.
Fraudulent holocaust memoirs.

Word/Quote of day

Word-
Cunctator. n. A procrastinator. "If you weren't such a cunctator, we wouldn't be in this mess."

Quote-
"(A)nd like all other clubs it's defined as much by its gate crashers as by its blueblood members."
from Dale Peck's 'Hatchet Jobs'

Elaborate Electronic Tombstone

Friendship is the thing that most makes me regret that life ends.

It'd be cool to form a band called The Gay Faggots.

The Chinatown Ice Cream Factory banner is looking ragged these days.

Travel

Phone banks at airports and train stations--their proud, lonely formerness.

Like most, I treasure every passing acqaintanceship. I wish I could name them all. The men I've traded papers with. Etc.

Funny how that works

Everything is everything.
Nothing is everything.
Everything is nothing.

This way

A headline in the Voice reminded me that this is one of my favorite poems. It's been over a year.

Key Food

Who doesn't love to see firemen tromping through the produce section, the frozen food aisle?

I'm always getting my ass kicked in conveyor belt showdowns. Look at what she's got: hommos, jarlsberg cheese, soymilk, looza nectars, berries, carr's table water crackers. What do I got: raisin bran, popcorn, ramen, catfood. And I don't even have a cat.

Get dressed

"Clothes horse" is usually a criticism, but it doesn't have to be. It should refer to someone who dresses in in a way that kicks up dust, a way that tunes the crowd into the possibilities of grace.

Art shows I recently missed

1) Jean-Michel Basquiat
2) Diane Arbus
3) Cy Twombly

I can't tell

I don't ask very much of you.
Or I'm asking everything of you.

There are so many

Important like shooting stars

Oasis

I can never find that stand near Wall Street with the cheap, artfully made-to-order fruit plates. ("Fruit Salad" always sounds wrong.) Next time I get there I'll write down where it is and let you know.

Proposal

How about giving credit to people who follow through on the urge to throw their phones into the ocean?

Declarations

You can be too well-groomed.

Sandwich cravings are usually very specific.
(Big Mike's Super Subs, Lenci's Deli, Hungry Head...)

That one

I recognize her from the day camp I never attended.

Let's not forget what we are

I complain when bathrooms aren't filthy enough.

Greetings from Tank Top Town

Come-on:
What you got under that?

This summer I'm looking to "exude a relaxed vitality," like playwright John Patrick Shanley does, according to USA Today.

Magazine rack blahs.

L.A.

Tinted windows tint your whole outlook.

It's fun watching girls cry!

Sure, when things aren't going smoothy I'll fire off a "Do you know who I am?"
but in a more plaintive tone than the celebrity version.

Sure, now I'd like to order that Canadian prank compilation, but I haven't seen it advertised lately.
Infomercials we miss.

What is Walgreen's saying when they announce over the loudspeaker, "Code 1 at the pharmacy, Code 1 at the pharmacy"?

We'll stare as intently at ugliness as we do at beauty.
Not the same intent.

Stories of bad decisions and enemies are more fun to read but less fun to live.

I need to work on embracing my destiny, like they recommend in the superhero movies.

Ideas you can run with

Essay: Middle-class crack experience. Buy it, smoke it. I'm sure it's not as addictive as we've been lead to believe, and is probably fun, in the right context.

Book: On Regional Rivalries. Examples of how and why people resent the neighboring town or state. Could be called: "On Shelbyville."

Bionic, man

We've fetishized the concept of the fetish.

Distracted, but from what?

I'd miss these outdoor subway platforms.
Any type on the other side seems moreso.

You and your photo essays.

Every word is a lie.

Oh-
No more using high school as an excuse.